I have been feeling stuck creatively for the last few weeks. As much as I try to not let my work define me, I find that when my projects take giant setbacks, I can’t help but feel that sense of failure creep in.
There is so much uncertainty in producing. There is so much that I can’t control. I really like clarity. I like when things are black and white. I like when things are transparent.
Producing is pretty much the opposite of all those things that I like. There is a ton of gray. Everything is uncertain. No one truly has control… and very few people are transparent.
So I sit at my desk, staring at my computer, on the phone… and I try and push things forward and problem solve. I try not to get too caught up in the drama and the hurdles of bureaucracy. I try not to take it personally.
But when you’ve been working on each project for over a year, and just when you think they are about to go forward, another roadblock comes up… it’s hard to stay positive.
So I remind myself.
I am in transformation.
I am building a second career.
This is reinvention.
I am in a cocoon working all by myself trying to make something beautiful.
And I am comforted by the prophecy of this quote:
Your time as a caterpillar has expired. Your wings are ready.