Higher Highs. Lower Lows.

Corporate training is finished! New York was awesome. I felt free. I felt alive. While I was there, I had lunch with the head of HR. She said the company is ready to convert my executive contract into a producing deal! All systems go. I will be on my way to a new career path in just a few days.

Saturday I did very little work on the plane ride home and I didn't even work on Sunday. The anxiety of uncertainty and limbo almost felt like it was melting away.

Ah, but not so fast.

It's Monday morning. Daylight savings. Spring forward... into utter exhaustion. Three hours of jet lag and another hour time difference. I feel like I have been hit by a bus.

Maybe it was walking 18,000 steps (per my FitBit) on both Thursday and Friday. Or maybe it was flying for five hours on Saturday. Or maybe it was the two hours of tennis on Sunday.

I rolled over to check my phone and read my emails, there was an email from the head of HR.

The lawyer who negotiates the producing deals is on vacation until Wednesday, so they won't be able to start a conversation until Thursday or Friday, "Is that ok?"

I take a deep breath. It has been over a month already. What's another few days?

Sigh. Then I look at the time.

I overslept! I drag myself out of bed. My youngest daughter is not out of bed either and the carpool leaves in 13 minutes. I went into frantic-mom-mode. I walked and fed the dog, made my daughter's breakfast, packed her lunch (that she probably won't eat because she doesn't like "lunch foods") and shoved her out the door. Then, I went back to bed.

I am too restless to fall back to sleep.
My head is pounding.
Do I HAVE to go to the office today?
Do I NEED to go to the office today?
Do I dress up to go to the office?
With my producing deal still in limbo, I am still technically an executive. I can't afford to make any mistakes now. So I still have to perform some executive role, until I officially transition to producer.

My feet are killing me for all the walking in NYC and the first couple of days in high heels at the off-site. I need to wear flats, but will that make me look like I am just not still playing the executive role? I know it sounds crazy, but getting dressed for work is half the battle.